Osborne and Cameron to serve the poor

George Osborne, on hearing the story of local man Ian Skint, has resolved to renounce all worldly goods to serve the poor.

For some time, researchers have argued that the welfare cuts will seriously affect people who cannot work. Nevertheless, George Osborne refused to back down until he heard the personal story of local constituent Ian Skint. Ian, from Knutsford, has mental health problems. He sat begging in Tatton, asking for ยฃ2.50 for a Conservative Party badge.

George had never met someone so poor. He resolved to do something. He has announced he will assign his ยฃ4 million pound trust fund to a charity for the homeless. Then he remembered his free market principles. On 1 April he is taking all ยฃ4 million in ยฃ5 notes to the centre of Tatton Park and throwing them to the winds, for anyone to pick up. He said,

Just like on Dragon's Den, I am giving my money to those who can make most with it: the poor.

David Cameron is thinking of joining his friend George, in giving away all his money. He had just read in the Bible how hard it was for rich men to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Since all rich men will burn in Hell, he wants to give his money away before he dies. But can he do it before midday, today, 1 April 2014?


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